You Are Welcome.

We may not know where we are going, but still keep on walking.

I believe that, in an era where people are often pressurised to set goals and achievements in every aspects of their lives is natural to do the same in therapy:  results are important, we want to be productive and compare different versions of ourselves. When I was trainee, 12 years go, agreeing on goals  seemed easy, reassuring for both,  almost a naïve necessity to turn away the attention from the question ‘What is troubling you?’ Experience and time proved me wrong. Since I became BACP Accredited in 2022, the years of Pandemic,  I’ve noticed that more clients are coming to my office struggling less to say ‘I do not know what I want from therapy’ but then when the apparently unrelated question of ‘ What have you lost’ is made, then  desires, wants and hopes appears timidly.  And yet, without an initial set goal, a paradoxical question, they keep on showing up, shaping their own trajectory  doing the work of having a conversation together.

Psychological Pain Is Unique.

Why And How I listen.

I will walk the walk with you without putting myself in your shoes, because otherwise I will likely stumble in yours. Yet, I will make sure to do my best to understand how it is like for you and be beside you. To do so you may find some questions I do ve almost childlike. This is to help you and me to understand how it is your own lived experience of  ‘lonely, alone, dissociate’.  Sometimes I will pause you, for example just when you left a word mid-way, and you want to correct it or I will be wanting to explore a contradiction in your thinking, as paradoxes can help a lot to discover more about yourself and where you are coming from   Therapy is like a place we create together so that you can stop, slow down and really get to know your self. This to say that I will listen with curiosity and challenge if I believe it is beneficial.

Know Yourself.

I see my task first to support you find your own words, so that you can explore, understand how how you feel, think, act or not in relationship to your world. How the body responds to those too and our conversations may help guiding us in our self- discoveries. For example, a gentle tilt of the head may help to talk through the shame about the relief coming from losing Loss can be good and make people feel guilty too, and it is a hard acknowledgment. I see fostering self-awareness as a way to see the path you are in, where you are going or show you new ways.

Understanding Possibilities & Limitations

And with possibilities come choices and decisions with their consequences. Often I see that with greater self-awareness, people strengthen trust in their decisions. This often brings a sense of serenity that sometimes can be seen in body posture, or just in the tilt of the head. It is hard to me to say whether counselling or psychotherapy can lead to action, change, acceptance or everything all together at the same time, or many more options, as those are often coming from the work we do together. My experience as a client and professional is that counselling or psychotherapy are not a recipe to fix and find absolute happiness.  A possibility, choice which has been understood, reflected upon can be owned with greater serenity and bearing with grace its consequences in the everyday world this always considering the limitations of the fact of life e.g. money, time, norms. Equally, I will be alert about my own limitations and with Supervision and reflective practice I will monitor and assess my work, so that  if I think that you may benefit more from the help of other more skilled medically trained professionals I will not shy away and I will share with you so that we can find the right support.

Counselling to me is a conversation between two fellow humans

not a treatment that is dispensed.

Sometimes having a conversation about yourself  is the hardest choice:

And Still, Every Time You Show Up,

We Both Renewing Your Choice.

 

 

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